


transparent

by tenderlesbians



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: (?), Coming Out, F/F, Fluff, Self-Indulgent, idk hdbfjfk, trans girl hyunjin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:48:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21521692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenderlesbians/pseuds/tenderlesbians
Summary: Out of the corner of her eye, an older-looking photograph caught her attention and she picked it up, not noticing the way Hyunjin went stiff next to her."Babe, who's this?" Heejin pointed at the unknown figure.(trans hyunjin? trans hyunjin.)
Relationships: Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 165





	transparent

**Author's Note:**

> what if i projected onto kpop idols... haha just kidding.... unless??
> 
> also a big thank you to @donotfeedthebirds for beta reading <3!!

  
  


"Hey babe, can you come here for a sec?"

Hyunjin's voice faltered as she nervously fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. Heejin tried to meet her eyes but as soon as she got closer the other girl dropped her gaze to the floor.

Heejin brought her bigger hands up to her face and left a soft kiss on her knuckles, feeling slightly relieved as Hyunjin shot her a shy smile.

"Is everything alright Hyun?"

"Yeah… I just-" Heejin watched her tongue dart out to wet her lips. She had to force herself to look back up to avoid getting distracted by them. 

"My family sent me some old photos, if you'd like to see."

"Of course I'd love to, baby." Heejin's eyes crinkled into a gentle smile as she tried to hide her concern.

Hyunjin gave her a relieved look and lightly dragged her arm towards their room. When the two of them entered the room, the shorter girl immediately noticed all kinds of photos and papers arranged into neat little piles lying on top of her girlfriend's bed.

Heejin carefully sat down and from the corner of her eyes noticed a familiar scene.

"Hey, I remember this!"

She picked up the photo that showed the two of them sitting together on a bench, ice creams in hand and huge matching smiles on their faces. Heejin smiled as she recalled the fond memories and looked at her girlfriend, who seemed to be as lost in her thoughts as she was. In the photo, both of them were clearly younger but she couldn't help but feel her chest warm up at the way Hyunjin's eyes still had the same mischievous but loving glow in them as her mouth curled up into a smirk.

"Well I really hope you do. I didn't want to have to remind you of the way you managed to fall into the river."

"Hey! I _almost_ fell, there's a difference. But in my defense, a very pretty girl was distracting me."

Hyunjin barked out a laugh and playfully pushed her shoulder. Heejin still smiled at the way her girlfriend's ears turned a pretty red as she passed her another photo, changing the subject.

They continued to look at all the different memories, a lot of them including the other members as well. Heejin was surprised Hyunjin had gotten so many printed in the first place, but the girl was always full of surprises. They had yet to come across any of Hyunjin's childhood photos and Heejin was growing slightly impatient, wanting to gush over how cute she probably was before. And more importantly, tease her about any embarrassing moments.

Out of the corner of her eye, an older-looking photograph caught her attention and she picked it up, not noticing the way Hyunjin went stiff next to her.

The picture showed a smiling family in front of a beautiful nature scene. Hyunjin's parents were hugging, each of the girl's older brothers at their sides. However, there was no sight of the girl herself. Instead, right in the middle of the photo there was another small boy, widely smiling.

"Babe, who's this?" Heejin pointed at the unknown figure.

"That's uh…" She looked at her girlfriend, and frowned when she saw her focusing on the place her finger was pointing to, almost as if trying to bore holes through it. She took a deep breath and spoke in a shaky voice, and if it wasn't completely silent in the room, Heejin almost wouldn't have heard her next words.

"That's me."

Heejin was confused. She looked at her girlfriend and back at the photo, eyebrows furrowed. There was clearly some resemblances, yes, but she could easily describe every detail of the girl sitting next to her with her eyes closed and the person in the photo was… Well, clearly a young boy, who couldn't have been older than ten, maybe eleven years at the time.

"Sorry I'm not… I don't understand." She felt herself start to laugh, forcefully trying to get rid of the tight feeling in her chest.

Hyunjin suddenly stood up and went to her handbag that was lying discarded on the floor. She quickly took out her wallet and returned to her previous place, her eyes staying down the whole time.

She fumbled around for a bit and tentatively stretched out her arm towards Heejin, gently holding a card between her fingers. The smaller girl took it, confusion just growing as she saw was looking at Hyunjin's ID.

In the back of her mind she realised she never really saw it before, but there was no real reason why she would need to. They even went to get their photos taken together and she still remembers Hyunjin teasing her about the expression she had made.

Looking closer at it now though, she felt her breath get caught in her chest.

_Sex :_ **_M_ **

A lot of things started to make sense at that moment. Like why Hyunjin would always hurry up to change before anyone or always quickly do it in the corner of the room, completely facing the wall. All the times she seemed to freeze up in certain conversations, and her shyness and giddiness at getting compliments.

"Oh."

Hyunjin was deadly silent next to her until that moment, when she started laughing, the light sound carrying no real joy, or any other emotion.

"My mom told me she was one hundred percent certain she was carrying a daughter until I was born. I mean, she ended up being right, none of us just didn't know until years later."

Heejin slowly looked at her, curled in on herself and nervously playing with her fingers.

"I mean, I was really lucky. My family actually listened to me when I started realising everything. That picture is I think the last one I have before I started transitioning… We moved here when I had to start middle school and by then I was on hormones and just normally enrolled as a girl."

Heejin could hear her heart beating in time with the old clock on the wall as she took in every word.

"Uh so… yeah. I- I don't want this to be a big deal or anything and I've never really told people but I just… wanted you to know. And I didn't want you to feel like I was lying to you or something…"

Despite herself, Heejin let the deafening silence stretch, trying to process everything and sort her thoughts. She quickly snapped into action as she saw Hyunjin's eyes grow glossy.

"Hyunjinie, look at me."

The girl in question slowly raised her tear filled eyes and Heejin felt her heart shatter. She slowly cupped her face and brought it closer, until she could very gently press her mouth against trembling lips, still soft as ever.

She pulled back and felt Hyunjin grip her wrists, almost as if to make sure she would keep them in place. Her eyes were screwed shut almost painfully hard.

"You know I love you, right? No matter what, I love you."

She tightened her hold around Hyunjin's face and gently nudged her to open her eyes.

"Thank you for telling me this. I can't imagine how you must have felt all this time… I'm sorry I didn't notice anything sooner."

Hyunjin went to open her mouth and she gently ran her thumb over her cheek to wipe a stray tear.

"I- thank you for not hating me." She ducked her head.

"God, Hyunjin no! I could never hate you!" She threw her arms around her neck in a quick hug and pulled back just as fast to be able to look at the other girl's face.

"You're still my best friend, the same girl I fell in love with and- Of course I was surprised. This is a big part of you but I guess I just- kind of always knew?"

Hyunjin was looking at her, fully paying attention to every word she said.

"Not that you were trans, I mean. Just that, you're special in so many more ways that meets the eye. And this doesn't change anything- doesn't change my feelings for you. If anything, and I didn't know it was even possible, I just love you even more."

Tears were now freely streaming down Hyunjin's face and Heejin was doing her best to catch all of her girlfriend's sadness in her hands.

"You're such a kind and brave and just, _strong_ person, Hyunjin. And I'm so lucky to have someone as beautiful as you as my girlfriend, so please don't cry."

Her last sentence was punctuated with a soft kiss to Hyunjin's forehead and she heard the taller girl sniffle and let out a choked laugh.

"You can't just say all that and expect me not to cry Heekkie."

"But they are good tears, at least..?"

For the first time since entering the room, or even longer before that, Hyunjin gave her a completely genuine and free smile.

"Definitely."

In that moment Heejin decided she would make sure Hyunjin looked like that every single day.

"Thank you for everything you said." She angled her face and pressed a wet kiss to Heejin's palm. "What did I do to deserve this?"

Heejin gently pulled the smiling girl to her chest and wrapped her arms around her.

"You deserve the world, Hyun. I love you."

"I love you too. So much." 

They stayed like that for a while, Heejin just rubbing her hands over her girlfriend’s back until she slowly pulled away. She watched as Hyunjin hurriedly gathered the pictures still strewn all around them and shot her a sheepish look.

“Can we cuddle?”

Heejin couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her, couldn’t believe she was even asking her. Instead of answering, she threw herself towards the pillow and spread her arms open, smiling at her girlfriend. Hyunjin quickly lied down and made herself comfortable, burying her face into her neck and threw an arm around her midriff. She made a show of nuzzling herself deeper into Heejin’s side and left a quick peck on the small mole on her jawline, making the smaller girl laugh.

They settled into a comfortable silence, and Heejin could feel Hyunjin’s breathing slow down, the previous stress and excitement getting to her.

“Hey?” She squeezed her arm and got a quiet hum in response.

“Can we talk more about this later? I want to know if there’s anything I can do to help or if I’m doing anything that’s making you uncomfortable... Sorry, does that make sense? I just don't really... know much and I don't want to fuck up and hurt you-” 

Hyunjin stopped her rambling with a quick kiss to her cheek.

“You’re cute. And just… thank you.” She lied back down and played with Heejin’s fingers.

"I guess you could say you were trying to be completely… _trans_ parent with me just now."

"Shut up." Hyunjin ungracefully snoted and buried herself back into her embrace

She knew she realistically couldn't, but in that moment Heejin felt like she was protecting her and keeping her safe, away from anything or anyone that might hurt her.

**Author's Note:**

> i was kinda nervous to post this so hope yall enjoy!
> 
> feedback/criticism is much appreciated but any transphobic comments will be removed :)


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